I have been trying so desperately over the last few months to help the suffering economy of our green and not so pleasant land!
Seriously, since the end of February when the shops had finished their sales of the last five years worth of rubbish, I decided it was time to take responsibility and do my bit for the retail industry. Where better to start then, than the wonderful new shoppers paradise of Westfield. With all those beautiful, brand new stores there, I figured I must be able to wipe out a little piece of the national debt, mind you, that was before the budget, when I found out exactly how much that was!
What a perfect place to shop. Once you figure out the car park and whether your meant to go up, down or sideways, its fine. They are so thoughtful, they even put little green lights above the spaces so you know where to park without a battle for the space nearest the lifts! The parking tickets are great too. They are little scratch cards to remind you where in the vastness of spaces you have parked, so no matter how many hours you shop for and how withered your brain becomes you can still find your way back to the car.
And it is impressive in there! Huge, wide open spaces, so you can carry as many bags as you want without being accused of using them as weapons! Or you can just pay someone a little extra and have them tag along behind you carrying your purchases. Oh - if only that was the case.
Shop upon shop upon shop - they have Bond Street, Oxford Street and the local drab high street all under one roof and was there anything exciting to buy, anything that had you chomping at the bit, foaming at the mouth, ready to bust a gut if you couldn't have it? NO! not one solitary thing. Every store, no matter how beautifully designed was boring! What is wrong with this seasons selections? Have we been driven so far into recession that they feel they can fob us of with boring? Bye Bye Westfield.
Now Selfridges is another story. What a stunning selection of shoes. Just race up that escalator and be prepared to spend hours in shoe heaven. This is the place where your heart starts racing and your hands begin to tremble just a tad. This is the place where you can see in real life all those stunning works of art that you see on the pages of the glossy magazines. You are even allowed to touch them! To pick them up and study them from every angle. Admire their craftsmanship, rave over their unusual designs and then very delicately place them back down. Slowly back away from them and feel that hollow burn deep down inside you that on that shelf they will stay. I did mention that I would help the national debt - not pay it off!!!
And so, all these months later, I am still trying, desperately hard to help. I seem to have found the most wonderful things in TK Maxx.
A pair of Valentino trousers, Steve Madden shoes, the list is endless!
So, Mr Brown, I'm really sorry but it seems that for this season I'm not going to be able to help you out very much. Maybe the Autumn collections will bode much better.
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